Monday, Sept. 09, 2002 - 1:56 p.m.

its funny how you try to help someone by being there for them, but then a while later they turn your kindness down by saying, "oh, just forget what i said, its stuff i shouldn't be telling anyone"

you listen to them for days, rant on and on about things that hurt yourself, but you ignore that.

why? because since you can't do anythin nice for them listening to them is the least possible. it just hurts that they turn around and don't even appreciate you being there.

not that i want this someone to praise me or anything, but its just that i was hurt when they jus walked away, i mean, that's just like saying, ok well, im done ranting and driving u crazy by talkin about what i wanted to. esp what hurt u so much, now my job is done. bye

almost like they faked the entire time about how theyre hurt and crap.

i don't get it.

maybe im not drawing the right conclusion outta this, yeah maybe im not. Allah knows best..

i was really busy yesterday, some people came over for the whole day, so i couldn't get on to write. didn't do much cept clean help cook and all the girlie stuff and make all these chocolate cupcakes for the kids =)

im glad they loved 'em.

i would eat some, but i can't. darn chocolate allergies. and i don;t wanna break out anymore! esp not if theres gona be a girls get together and takin pics.

nope.

but we'll see if my parents'll lemme go. *cringes*

the night before yesterday i had a wild wild dream, i was in pakistan, and umm, ok never mind.

i talked to EJ for a while coupla days ago. had a nice lil talk, tho i signed off in her face. sowwy gURL =(.

i called fuzini on saturday, and her dad had to use the fone in the middle of our convo, she told me to call back, but i forgot. SOWWY! :(

and erm, i called faiza, talked for a bit, then she got another call, and left me! grrr.

well actually i didn't wait for her to come back..:o

sowwy yall! this weekend i was messed up. i still love u all =) and i hope u do to, in return. AHEM!

my moms been promising to take me to the mall for a week now, everyday its like..uh can't take u today, tomorrow! tomorrow never comes!

she been givin me the same ole excuse everyday!

and plus, its not like i wanna go for MYSELF only, its for her facial appointment too.

sheesh. moms.

and this weekend i have come to the conclusion that i, infact, shall never be able to learn HTML all by myself. i will always mess up until i have a proper tutor to boss me around.

yes, I KNOW! MOTIVATION IS THE KEY BUT shut up DAMMIT!

so what else is new?